What not to do

A couple struggling with infertility often face scenarios where, with the best of intentions, their loved ones wound them. That's why we have compiled a list of Daily Don'ts...to educate others on what NOT to say to a woman or couple going through this battle. It isn't easy to intuitively grasp if you have not been through it. There are some general principles you can follow however, which will help you to avoid hurting your friend or family member. 

Do not give advice or tell them about the friend you have who became pregnant by another method. 

Don't suggest adoption. The best thing you can do is listen.

Be careful of unconscious word choices.

Shushing her tears or telling her "it is going to be okay" can negate her reality. It is like telling her that her pain is not worthy of grief. Your best choices are silence, reflecting back her grief or the never wrong, "I am so sorry." 

Please do not share your feelings about her infertility with her unless you are her husband or partner. 

Hearing your distress adds to her burden. 

Imagine your sister or daughter is a starving woman who is surrounded by food, the talk of food, and the preparation of food, but with none for her to eat! She needs a break to talk and think about something else. 

These guidelines are just the tip of the iceberg, but they will help you to understand some of the most common things not to do or say when interacting with an infertile couple.



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