How to preface

If the woman you care for had lost someone through death, it would be understandable that she would have moments of weeping in despair.  In that loss she would be surrounded by those who would hold her and comfort her in her grief. As an infertile woman, her losses are often not understood or acknowledged in the same way. 

Because they don't "get it," her friends do not account for her infertility in their words and actions. The place where she once felt most herself, in that circle of trusted female friends, has gone from being a place of refuge to a place of pain. 

How can you help?

Be with her. Hear her. Walk beside her. Preface your conversations with check-in phrases.
These might include:

  • "Do you want to talk about it?"
  • "What do you need from me right now?"
  • "Is there anything I can do?" 
  • "Do you want company or to be alone?"
  • "Is there anything practical you need, like something to eat?" 

There's power in prefaces!

If you are respectful of the one you want to help, it shows you are ready to walk beside this person and her processs rather than try to bowl her over with your thoughts.